Coming Home

"Why do I love St Pauls, and Why Do I Choose to Be Generous?" You can actually watch it here.

After almost 14 years in the Navy, two things have often eluded me: a spiritual home, and a faith community. Moving so often has made it hard to put down roots.

When I was young, my mother and I lived in Michigan. She was a Sunday School teacher at the Catholic church, and I remember listening to “Jesus Loves Me” on my old red and white striped record player. We moved back to California when I was 9, and we never quite found a spiritual home. We became what I call “Holiday Catholics.”

Fast forward about 13 years; I had just been assigned to my first submarine, based in Georgia. A good friend I’d had from Boot Camp came up to me the day before I was set to go to sea for the first time. Manuel was a Catholic from Texas, and it was very much a part of him. He handed me an old Rosary, and explained that it had belonged to his grandmother, and she gave it to him to keep him safe when he left for Boot Camp. And now, he wanted it to keep me safe on my first voyage under the ocean. I touched that Rosary every one of those 88 days I was gone, and returned it safely to him upon our return to port.

The Rosary had done its’ job. Yes, I returned safely, but it had also rekindled something in me; an interest to return to church. So I started with what I knew: the Catholic Church. When I moved to San Diego in 2002, I figured “What better place to start than in Little Italy?” The priests there at the time spoke with THICK, Italian accents. I had absolutely no idea what they were saying, but I was going to church! After almost a year, I was reluctant to leave. Not because I felt at home, but because I’d finally begun to understand what they were saying! It was like a rite of passage! Then I began to hear what they were actually preaching! (pause) And THAT became the new problem!

Besides that, although familiar, it still wasn’t “home.” I recall approaching an Usher and asking what I needed to do to become a member. He looked at me as if I was bothering him, and said, “Just come to church.” and walked away.

Feeling like I was starting all over again, I went home on leave and somehow got into a conversation about this with my mother’s partner, of now 26 years, my “other mother” as we say. I told her how I felt overwhelmed starting over. She asked why I hadn’t thought the Episcopal Church? I was reminded of a friend of theirs; Susan McGarry, a superstar 2nd base woman on their softball team -- AND an Episcopal Priest. To this day I remember her showing up to practice in cleats, an old pair of gray sweats and her tabbed collar! If it was good enough for Susan, it was something I wanted to check out. That was when I stumbled on the Cathedral’s website. I figured, if I was going to try this “Episcopal Church” why not go big and start here!

I chose a pew in the back so I could make a hasty exit in case I began to feel uncomfortable, or if there were too many eyes glaring at me saying, “Who’s the new guy?” Luckily, neither thing happened. I began to run through a checklist (those who know me won’t be surprised by this). Great Cross in procession? Check. Incense? Check. Hymns? Check. Communion every Sunday? Check. Priests? Check.

I felt at home almost immediately. No one was glaring. Then I heard the choir. I was sold. An uncontrollable feeling of warmth and comfort washed over me. I was home. I continued coming, inching closer to the Altar each Sunday until I was sitting up front. I remember thinking, I want to serve at the Altar! Almost as if she heard me, Lee Teed got up to make the announcements, and asked that if anyone was interested in becoming an Acolyte should email her! I thought of that Usher in Little Italy, but decided to take a chance and send her an email anyway, asking how to “qualify” to serve. Lee sent back an email that very same day, saying, “Just be baptized! Come on down Saturday! We’d love to bring you into the group.” That’s exactly what happened. For the first time since I’d left my house the day after New Years in 1996 to be sworn into the US Navy, I had a home.

Two and a half years later, I was forced to transfer to Virginia. During the three and a half years I was there, I think I attended every Episcopal Church I could find, trying to find some place to fill the void. There were one or two churches that I felt accepted, though I was unable to replace St. Paul’s, even temporarily.

When it came time to take orders to my next assignment, there weren’t any available positions here in San Diego. I was offered a command back in Georgia, and I almost took it. It would have been a better career choice, but there was something telling me, “No! Don’t give up.” So I delayed as long as I could. About a month prior to deploying overseas, and in danger of being “volun-told” where I was going to be sent, I made one last ditch effort, and got the job I have now here in San Diego!

When I came back to St. Paul’s after my “leave of absence” I was surprised by how many new faces there were. I went from knowing just about everyone, at least by face, to probably about half. I worried about not having a home, about people looking at me funny again, wondering, “Who’s the new guy?” Of course, that didn’t happen. I was quickly blessed with new friendships that have made me a better person, and will be with me, cemented, for the rest of my life(*). A true Godsend.

St. Paul’s has done wonders for me; unfortunately, we don’t have time for me to list all of them. Okay, maybe that’s fortunate! St. Paul’s gave me the tools I needed to reconnect with God. Maybe I had the tools, and St. Paul’s showed me how to use them. In any case, I feel closer to God now than I ever have. I am continually inspired by this community of people to continue down the path that has been set before me.

I “Live Generously” both financially and with my time, because I am moved to do so. I want to ensure that others are able to continue to experience the wonderful feelings I have had here. I am mindful that St. Paul’s only exists because those that have come before me also gave generously. I’m sure that they had the same doubts and concerns as I did, the expense of living in San Diego, how much they could give, and so on. They sacrificed so that I could find this place. Like my friend’s rosary, who’s grandmother had given it to him, and when it was my time, he gave it to me. It just seems right.

I have a need to ensure that this place is around to welcome new people with the same open arms that I was received with, not once, but twice. The Spirit is amongst us here, and I want to do everything I can to ensure that St. Paul’s, it’s people and programs are here to spread that Spirit to those outside these Sacred walls.

--Shawn Anderson

Video here