the Sunday Sermon: the Last Sunday (with video)

What a road THIS has been! This is not only my last Sunday here on staff, but it is also the anniversary of the FIRST day I ever walked through those doors 12 years ago …having not attended church growing up I had found myself in my 30’s practicing law and starting to ask questions about meaning and purpose in my life – I guess I was something of a seeker.… And so there we were at the Pride Parade, minding my own business enjoying a margarita or 2…and coming down the parade is a small group – they didn’t have great signage then – I saw signs that said “Integrity” and had no idea what that was but I saw the banner and I could just make out the words: St Paul’s Cathedral….My first reaction was, well that SOUNDS like a legitimate church, and if they’re marching in a Pride Parade, maybe that might be a good place to start…

So I googled it when I got home, and the next Sunday we came in and we were IMMEDIATELY and warmly welcomed by Deedra Hardman – of course! So we sat down and I did my best to follow along in the liturgy and it was all going fine--I don’t think I was looking too out of place, I recall it feeling a bit stoic (it was the 8am service)… BUT then I heard the invitation to communion, Whoever you are, wherever you find yourself on the journey of faith, you are welcome here…

Like so many of you, when I heard those words for the first time, and my heart melted. I hope you never stop making that invitation. It’s an invitation we ALL need to hear from time to time, and there will always be someone, needing to hear it for the FIRST time.

So never let it be said that Episcopalians don’t do evangelism…because you evangelized me!

Sure it didn’t happen overnight - it took time. I had my suspicions to overcome and hang-ups that held me back. Like the disciples in todays’ gospel lesson who NEVER IMAGINED they could feed 5,000 people I too had been conditioned by a world that operated on the basis of scarcity…I had trouble imagining the abundant God that was being described each Sunday in this pulpit. Like all of us I had been conditioned by a life time of television advertising and marketing messages telling us repeatedly that we are NOT good enough, we are not young enough …not thin enough…not beautiful enough… smart enough…fashionable enough… wealthy enough… all of it in an effort to sell us products that they promised would that whole we all have in our heart. A hole that can only be filled with God. I had even heard a similar message about God from Christians growing up, who seemed all too judgmental and proclaimed a Gospel that seemed too small and a love that was all too conditional ….

But in time you introduced me a God who knew my name before we were born, and who loved and accepted me just as I am…and by doing that you helped me to accept myself…

I think there is probably no greater gift because knowing that freed me to begin living more fully into the person God would have me become. It would in time lead me to leave my law practice to come to work here, and then in time to discern a call to the priesthood, then seminary and now to another church, where I hope to bring a little of the St Paul’s spirit with me…

It has indeed been a wild, unexpected ride!

But as today’s gospel makes clear, when we put our faith in God and God’s abundance, anything is possible. In fact for the past couple of months we have been hearing miracle stories in our readings and today’s is one of the most famous. It got me wondering, how do we hear those stories today? Were they displays of power that we might believe? Were they reserved for the ancient world, for the beginnings of a faith, or are we still in an age of miracles?

I will never forget when Dorcas House, a foster home in TJ for children whose parents were incarcerated, approached the Cathedral looking for a financial support. Their donor base had dried up and their Sylvia was looking at possibly closing the home, sending 45 kids back into the jails where they sometimes were kept in cages for their own protection. She was at the end of her ropes and was looking for a miracle. And while we were sympathetic to her mission and her plight, we were facing our own difficulties – over the past two years we had lost 20% of our income, and now the idea of taking on a foster home whose expense equated to another 20% – that was over $400 just to get back to where we had started! Well to the ears of a young dev office, it all seemed too much to imagine! And then others pointed out, “We’re talking about children, in Mexico! Can you imagine the liability we could face if something went wrong!” Together these fear got some heads nodding, they even started to sound convincing… scarcity and doubt was starting to take hold.

But amidst the fears was a persistent voice that said, “But if we don’t try, who will – so why not try?”

And so in the face of fears and doubts, we trusted in God and said yes! And over the years, there was no financial or liability catastrophes, we not only grew, but so did Dorcas house! So much that in time, people in the community would say to me, “Oh I know your church, you are the ones that have that foster home in Mexico…” And we didn’t just send them money, we built relationships with those kids, we got to know them and saw them grow and we were transformed in the process. We saw Gabriella who was once kept in a kennel meant for dogs, grow into a young women and become the first child of Dorcas House to go to college. And who would nevertheless always return to the Dorcas House to help tutor the next group of little girls and boys so they too might have the chance she did…

Our former Dean John Chane said in his last sermon, “As I leave here today, I pray that you will never make peace with any oppression, religious or political, or any other that demeans the human condition and denies equal access to the sacraments of the Church.” Well I think we’ve done a pretty good job living up to that so far haven’t we? My own story, and the stories of so many of you are a testimony that we have never forgotten Bishop Chane’s charge to be a community that not only welcomes all, but affirms and celebrates all!

As I leave hear today, may I humbly add my own a charge: I pray that you will never make peace with a Gospel that’s too small, with a mission that’s too safe, or with ministry that’s too comfortable, too easy or without risk. The story of Dorcas House reminds me of one of my favorite prayers, The Prayer of the explorer Sir Francis Drake which begins like this:

Disturb us, Lord, when We are too pleased with ourselves, When our dreams have come true Because we dreamed too little, When we arrived safely Because we sailed too close to the shore.

It is a prayer that challenges us to be audacious in our mission, to dream the impossible and push the envelope WAY out there! Because it’s out there, out beyond our comfort zones, outside our safety net, that we encounter the abundance of God. And as in or Gospel today, it’s out there that we become co-creators in God’s miracles.

Sister Karla Maria and I asked this question the other day in a conversation about homeless youth in San Diego who are currently being served at the Episcopal Church Center in Ocean Beach. It’s a wonderful ministry that the Cathedral supports, but we wondered…rather than be content to collect sleeping bags or other supplies to help make life on the streets more comfortable –what if we were to follow the lead of Sylvia and Dorcas House, and resolved to end homelessness amongst youth? What if we decided to shelter these kids ourselves? Why not built a network of parishioners who have an extra guest room, a home office, a pool house, or a couch and then partner with social workers who screen and place youth in our homes, and why not expand that network to other churches and other denominations, other faiths, and then why not go further to invite our social networks our friends our neighbors, our community groups – all untied in a mission to end homelessness amongst youth – and then why not put this out as a model for the rest of the country and beyond. And then…like the children of Dorcas House, what might happen if we got to know them, broke bread with them… heard their stories and shared ours…what if we began to see God in them and share with them the same abundant love you showed me and countless others?

Are ideas like that crazy? Does that sound impossible? Too risky? Yeah, they do. They would require a lot of trust, a lot of faith! But it’s that kind of crazy thinking is how we feed the 5,000 today! We live in a world that is fast forgetting the church. That is not hearing the Gospel because they aren’t experiencing it. We live in a world that is desperate for miracles! THAT is the church’s challenge today – we need to get back into the miracle business.

As George Bernard Shaw son wonderfully put it, “Some people see the world as it is and ask-- why? I see a world that has never been and ask, why not?"

As I leave here today, I pray that we would never stop dreaming of God’s Kingdom as it might be, and that we will never stop asking….why not?

On behalf of Joe and myself. I want to thank you for loving and supporting us – for being a family to us. Thank you for showing me, and the countless other who have come through those doors, God’s abundant, unconditional love. Thank you for teaching me to dream…and to believe in miracles.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, To venture on wilder seas Where storms will show Your mastery; and Where losing sight of land, We shall find the stars.

Amen.

Canon Chris Harris

View the sermon here:

A Hastily Arranged Baptism

As many of you know, in addition to serving at Canon for Congregational Development at the Cathedral, I have a kind of parallel life as a seminarian at The School for Ministry where I will be entering my third and final year this fall. (Want to join me and other members of the Cathedral for classes this fall? They are open to anyone who would like to audit a class. Register here) And as part of my studies, I am once again doing a summer “field study” which is a kind of internship for seminarians so that they can gain some ‘real world’ experience to augment their formation in the classroom. My field study this summer is with The Pastoral Counseling Center of San Diego – a wonderful ministry based right here at St. Paul’s Cathedral. And once again, I will be writing a series of blogs detailing some of my experiences as I did last year during my field study at Episcopal Community Services. Unlike last year however, because of the sensitive and confidential nature of my work at the Pastoral Counseling Center, I cannot write about any of my experiences per se, but I will share some of my learnings along the way as I prepare to say goodbye to St. Paul’s. Brook McGillis, the Director of the Center, has put together a wonderful curriculum that I am studying alongside my practical work that is rich with interesting insight about how we as a Christian community might care for one another. In addition to that work, I have been auditing the excellent Stephen Ministry training that Ellen Meier, Brian Mullin, Dean Penny and Rev. Maryanne Lacey have been offering throughout the summer. (You can learn more about Stephen Ministry here .)

In addition to the confidentiality issues, this is also a difficult assignment since I will be leaving the Cathedral before it is over (July 26th will be my last Sunday). I wrote a little about that last month, but really, I just scratched the surface of the emotions of such a proposition. You can read the letter here, but the long and short goes like this: Earlier this year I had another field study, this time at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in Poway .  When I began my work up there, which was supposed to consist of attending services, getting to know the people and then helping to organize their outreach (all in a mere four hours a week!), they were in the midst of a calling process for an assistant rector. About of month into my time there, I was asked if I would be interested in putting my hat into the ring. Interestingly, and I think importantly, the idea had already occurred to me as well. I too was beginning to feel that the Spirit was doing something with my time in that community; something that wasn’t content to be finished in just a couple of months. With the support of the Bishop and Dean Penny, and my husband Joe’s blessing, I put together a profile (not unlike the profile we did for the Cathedral but for a clergy person) and resume as well as some sample sermons. Following a Skype interview with the committee, I was informed that I was one the finalists and following a second round of interviews, I was informed that the committee and vestry had voted to extend me an offer.

In the meanwhile I was engaged in my own discernment process around leaving the only spiritual home I have ever known. I did a Listening Hearts session, met with colleagues and close friends, prayed…and then prayed some more. In the end, while a difficult decision, and definitely a bit out of the box in that I am essentially doing this a year early, I said yes. The opportunity for formation in a new context, one that is very different from the Cathedral will be a good challenge for me and my development as a priest. It will also be a good opportunity for St. Paul’s as Dean Penny will be free to reshape our staffing needs in response to the new mix of skills and gifts that has been assembled, and the emerging vision for the Cathedral’s future.

I have spent the last month since the announcement meeting with many of you, having lunch, dinners, drinks and coffees. We have spent time reminiscing about stories I had forgotten about -- and a few that I had remembered very differently! :) In thinking about the last 9 years here at the Cathedral, it’s truly amazing to imagine how much has changed; how much the church has changed, how much the world has changed -- and how much I have changed. I arrived as an attorney having never been baptized, and leave a candidate for holy orders – now if that is not a small miracle, I don’t know what is!

One of my favorite stories happened at our confirmation rehearsal – back to where it all began really. I will never forget Rev. Lee Teed – with whom we had just spent the last 10 weeks or so learning what it means to be an Episcopalian – walking us through the confirmation bulletin to make sure we all knew what to do and where to stand and so on. Then we got to the section in the bulletin that said “reaffirmation of your baptismal covenant.” Uh oh, I thought. I’ve never been baptized. I bet this is a problem, I thought. I remember sheepishly asking her, “um…excuse me, Lee…um….do you need to be baptized in order to be confirmed?” Of course that I had to ask that tells you something about how close I had been paying attention through the last 10 weeks, but there it was. Lee gave me one of her trademark looks that said a thousands words, but when she spoke, her words could not have been more gracious. She instantly decided that she would baptize me at a noon mass on the next Saturday. I’ll never forget calling my dad a couple of days later and somewhat offhandedly mentioning that I was going to be baptized the next day. There was a pause on the phone for a moment and then he said, “I’d like to be there. Why don’t I catch a plane tomorrow morning?” His response took me back. I really wasn’t expecting that. He had never taken me to church or even gone himself as far as I could remember. His wife was an avid church goer and he had so far resisted her invitations to join her. So this really took me by surprise!

Richard Bonacci recently did a forum on male spirituality where he talked about one of the roles for fathers being that they give their sons a blessing (as they go off into the world to slay their dragons and so on). For me, having my dad fly down on a moment’s notice to be there for my baptism, and to participate in it (Lee had him be the lector) was a blessing that I will never forget. Although the confirmation a few days later, with the bishop and the drama of the darkness and the music and a full cathedral, was beautiful and mesmerizing in its own way, it was my little noon baptism with just a small group of friends and my dad, will always be vivid in my memory and the closest to my heart. Looking back, I can assure you I had no idea that this baptism would be the beginning of so much more. It was a beginning that would be a blessing not just in my life but in the lives of others along the way. Over the years, the Cathedral would touch the lives of my family, my friends and neighbors. But it all stared back at that little, hastily arranged baptism. Even my dad, who had never taken us to church as kids, began attending church after he returned to Santa Cruz. Where he would eventually become…a lector.

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Chris Harris is Canon for Congregational Development at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral and candidate for holy orders. His passion is helping people integrate their faith and a sense of call into all aspects of their lives -- workplace, finances and relationships -- while designing a life of purpose and mission. He can be reached at harrisc@stpaulcathedral.org or connect with him on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/chrisharris00

Letter from Chris: changes to come

Dear Friends,

Several years ago we as a faith community began a discernment process around whether I was being called to ordination. That process, and your affirmation of it, led to the Bishop making me a postulant and my enrollment in The School for Ministry where I have been spending my evenings and weekends for the past two years. This process passed another milestone two weeks ago when the Bishop officially declared me a Candidate for Holy Orders. All of this is a little background to something that I knew was inevitable when we began, but nevertheless feels surreal: I have accepted a call to join the staff at St. Bartholomew's Episcopal Church in Poway beginning in August where, assuming my ordination process continues on course, I will serve as a curate before becoming Assistant Rector upon ordination to the priesthood.

Did I say surreal?

As you can imagine, this is both an exciting prospect, as well as a terrifying and sad one. St. Paul's has literally been the only church I've known since you first introduced me to Jesus at the Pride Parade back in 2003. In the years that followed you baptized me, confirmed me, and inspired me to give up a career in law, to go to work for the church that so changed my life. You even introduced me to my husband Joe and then married us in a wedding we will never forget. We have shared so many wonderful memories together, as well as some hard ones and shed more than a few tears along the way. But through it all, through all of you, I found a faith that turned my life upside down. (And continues to!) You all have blessed me in ways that I am still discovering, and for which I will be forever grateful. It is for those reasons and more, that while I will be working at a new church, you will always be my first spiritual home. We won't be moving and Joe will continue to worship at the Cathedral, so unlike some transitions in the church, we look forward to maintaining the many friendships we have made over the years.

You just don't say goodbye to family.

I hope you will join us on my last official day here, Sunday July 26, when we will celebrate our ministry together, both past and future. I will preach that day and I would suspect have a party somewhere where I hope you might meet some of our new friends from St. Bart's. In the meanwhile, there's lots of ministry to do together over the next couple of months. We have a campaign to Light Up the Cathedral preparing to launch as well as the Pride Parade on July 18th - the evangelism event that started it all!

St. Paul's is in such wonderful hands under Dean Penny's leadership. There is a renewed focus on outreach and evangelism that would make our patron proud. There is a dynamic openness to experimentation and imagination emerging and a resurgence in lay leadership that through the Holy Spirit, will take you places you have not yet dreamed. I can't wait to see what you all do next.

With deep gratitude for all that has been, and great hope for what has yet to come.

See you in church!

Chris Harris