Showing posts with label Forum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forum. Show all posts

Monday, September 26, 2016

Book Review: Waging Peace, by David Hartsough

David Hartsough will be at the Cathedral on October 8-9. He will give a peace workshop on Saturday the 8th @ 1-4 pm; and the Sunday forum on the 9th @ 9 am.  The Rev Canon Richard Lief shares this review of Hartsough's book.


WAGING PEACE: Global Adventures of a Lifelong Activist
David Hartsough with Joyce Holliday
2014 – PM Press - pp. 243

Non-violence works, if we give it a chance and are willing to promote and live it. Waging Peace is primer for all who seek peace in our war-worn and tragic world.

Author  David Hartsough, whose parents were devout Quakers, is a man with a mission – a mission to be involved where there is injustice anywhere in the world, where there is an opportunity to influence change.

In Waging Peace David shares his life’s adventure. Over the last fifty years he has led and been engaged in nonviolent peacemaking in the United States, Kosovo, the former Soviet Union, Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua, the Philippines, Sri Lanka, Iran, Palestine, Israel, and many other countries.

He is the executive director of Peaceworkers in San Francisco, and has a BA from Howard University and an MA in international relations from Columbia University. He is a Quaker and a member of the San Francisco Friends Meeting.

Born in 1940, David has dedicated his whole life to be where he can make a difference. In his forward to Waging Peace, John Dear describes David: “He’s so humble, simple, and gentle that no one would know the powerful force that moves within him.”

David Krieger, president of the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, says that David’s “…guiding stars have been peace, justice, non-violence and human dignity… He has lived his nonviolence and made it an adventure in seeking truth, as Gandhi did.”

Given Gandhi’s book, All Men are Brothers, by his parents, on his 14th or 15th birthday, Hartsough was inspired with Gandhi’s experience - that nonviolence is the most powerful force in the world and that it could be a means of struggle to liberate a country. David was 15 when he met Martin Luther King, Jr.

David’s adventures in nonviolence are engaging and inspiring in their call to nonviolent action for the betterment of everyone on the planet. He co-founded the Nonviolent Peaceforce, which is recognized by the United Nations. He has met with people in all walks of life who have shared their yearning for peace and justice. And he has met with people in power – memorably with President Kennedy who responded and acted favorably on David’s thoughtful and encouraging viewpoints.

I was captivated by David when he spoke several years ago at a conference I attended, sponsored by the San Diego Peace Resource Center. Among the many personal stories he shared, there was one that particularly inspired me. When he was 20, he was trained to participate in a lunch counter sit-in in Arlington, Virginia. It was in the early days of the Civil Rights Movement.

He had just been reading Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “Love your enemies… Do good to those who hate you” when he heard a voice behind him say, “Get out of this store in two seconds, or I am going to stab you through the heart.” The man had a terrible look of hatred on his face, and a knife one half inch from David’s heart. Did Jesus mean to include this man?

Grateful for his training of the past two days, David turned around and tried his best to smile and said, “Friend, do what you believe is right, and I will try to love you.” The man’s jaw and hand dropped, and miraculously, he turned away and walked out of the store.

Chapter 14 of Waging Peace gives practical application and encouragement. Topics include: 1) transforming our society from one addicted to violence and war to one based on justice and peace with the world; 2) a proposal for ending all war: an idea whose time has come; 3) resources for further study and action: what you can do; 4) ten lessons learned from my life of activism.

As Episcopalians we are engaged in seeking the Christ in all persons, and respecting the dignity of every human being. I am grateful that David Hartsough continues to live and promote his life of nonviolence as he seeks peace and justice world-wide. Waging Peace is a primer which deserves to be read, marked, learned and inwardly digested – and most of all, with the help of God, lived.

The Rev. Canon Richard C. Lief,
Honorary Canon
St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral
San Diego, California

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Forum: Update on the Master Plan

These slides are from the forum on Sunday describing the Master Plan.  Click on any slide for a larger view.  See the video of the forum here.














Thursday, September 25, 2014

The Sunday Forum with Dean Penny: Six Months On




It's been six months since I began my tenure at St. Paul’s. I've learned a lot and I have a lot still to learn. The greatest learning curves for me are those of scale – this congregation is four times the size of my previous parish; identity - what does it mean to be a cathedral as well as a parish church; and personnel management - we have a complicated tapestry of paid staff (both full and part time), volunteer staff, retired clergy, lay leaders, canons, and people in residence. Let me say right away that my overwhelming impression of St. Paul's confirms what I was told during the search process: this is a healthy church community, with an abundance of resources, in a great location, doing significant ministry with a diverse congregation that is truly welcoming to all. That's not something you can say about many Episcopal churches, let alone cathedrals.

So, let me share some thoughts about various aspects of our life. I'm going to address the following topics, and I will pause for questions before shifting topics: Worship and music; the physical facility, including the chancel, chapel, Master Plan for development, and the office and program space; youth and family ministry; outreach; pastoral care; and finally strategic planning.

Worship

Worship first: it's what we do, that makes us different from a social club or a philanthropic organization. St. Paul's knows how to do good liturgy. "The work of the people" is carried out with beauty and care.

The Sunday worship at St. Paul's is very orthodox. Our services come straight out of the Book of Common Prayer and our music is solidly in the Anglican tradition. This is one of the things that draws people to the Cathedral, and it's a great strength. I have introduced one innovation to the Eucharist services, and that is the Iona invitation: "This is the table, not of the church but of Jesus Christ..."

St. Paul's is blessed by the ministry of Martin Green. He does an incredible job of running a large music program all by himself. I wish we could find the resources to provide an assistant choir director or organist; the organ scholar program is a wonderful outreach, but we don't always have a suitable candidate, and it's a lot for Martin to do alone. Even a very part-time administrative assistant would be a help. Those choirs of girls and boys are a treasure, and I wish we could figure out a way for the larger congregation to experience them more often. The fact that many of the kids who sing in our choirs sing in their own parish churches on Sunday mornings means that we are offering a valuable outreach to the diocese in a process of spiritual formation that for over 1000 years has nurtured children and formed them for future leadership in the church. The Choral Evensong service is our uniquely Anglican offering and it's something that visitors expect to find at a cathedral; the traditional language is entirely appropriate.

Our deacon, Brooks Mason, does sterling work on the schedule for preaching and presiding. It's complicated with so many clergy, each of whom has their own preferences and challenges. I have chosen to be scheduled to preach two Sundays a month. I preside at each of the main services at least once a month; that includes the Spanish Misa. I am very, very grateful to all the priests who help out with the weekday services. The three of us on staff couldn't easily do all those noon Eucharists. However, with Colin and Laurel still being pretty new to the priesthood, I have asked Brooks to schedule them more frequently for the principal services so that they can gain experience. It's becoming clearer and clearer that the staff clergy team we now have is not a person-for-person swap for the team you had two years ago. The way responsibilities were divided among Scott, Mary, and Allisyn bears very little resemblance to the division of duties among myself, Brooks, Colin, and Laurel. We are still working on how to maximize everyone's time and gifts.

Facility

When I came for the interview last November I made a list of issues that various people mentioned and that I might look at addressing if I were called here. One thing I heard loud and clear was about the Sunday morning choir being in the south transept and how they felt marginalized. That led to the experiments this summer with rearranging the chancel to accommodate the choir. We are just starting to experience the fullness of this change as the choir was smaller over the summer. Bringing in enough pews for the choir affected the positioning of the altar and the clergy seating. We discovered that we need a lot of space behind the altar and by the credence table where the Eucharistic ministers deposit patens and chalices. We discovered that the main altar was too long for the rearranged space, so we switched with the chapel altar. Ultimately we will need to obtain an altar that is deeper or an additional narrow credence table to allow for all the additional vessels we need for big services.

In the old arrangement, the presider, deacon and preacher sat behind the altar, facing the congregation. I found this configuration awkward. I felt very, very distant from the congregation, and I has a sense that the visual effect was of three disembodied heads - like John the Baptist's head on a platter. While the sideways arrangement that we have now isn't ideal, I find it preferable because we can have more connection with the congregation, including exchanging the Peace, and we can make a deliberate and visible shift from the liturgy of the Word, which ends at the Peace, to the liturgy of the Table, when we move to the altar after the offertory sentence.

We've also taken into consideration the seating of many of our honorary canons so that they may be part of the celebration in the chancel.

I really appreciate all the feedback I and other staff have received about the chancel rearrangement. I have learned a lot of history about the building from your comments, and as I've considered each comment I have done a little discernment about the nature of the feedback: is it based on a functional issue or is it more about reacting to the unfamiliar? It's been an exercise in managing change.

Something I noticed right away was the number of steps and different floor levels in the chancel. It's quite treacherous, especially if you use a cane or have multi-focal glasses. I have a medium-term goal of evening out those levels and somehow creating a ramp so that our less mobile colleagues can continue to have access to the altar. The overall challenge for us is the narrowness of the chancel; we are stuck with that but if we can standardize the floor level we can make the most of what we have.

Now that the south transept isn't used for Sunday services, I am dreaming about how we might best use that space. Our identity as a Cathedral includes serving as a place for the arts, and we have a strong tradition of both visual and performing arts here. Right now we have Ric Todd's art exhibit in the nave, and we are using some space in the south transept for some freestanding pieces. In a couple of years we will be celebrating our sesquicentennial as a parish. Our archivist, John Will and I have started talking about an exhibit of historical artefacts to mark that anniversary, and that led to me thinking about the transept as a space for semi-permanent exhibits. We would need to provide for seating for Christmas and Easter of course, but it could be moveable seating. Pews are great for the choir, especially when you have children involved and you can squeeze them in, but chairs provide more flexibility for multiple uses. Did you know that pews were introduced in the Middle Ages as a method of crowd control, to stop people dancing in the aisles during worship?

As you know, the chapel was partially renovated during the interim, but Rebecca graciously refrained from finishing it so that the new dean would have the fun of seeing it through to completion. There is certainly an unfinished feel to the space, with the plywood panel over the niches where the columbarium for the Society of St. Paul will be. That's because the marble for the covers was ordered from Italy and it's such a small order that we had to wait for someone else to make a much larger order before the manufacturer would import the stone. My information is that the niche covers are now being manufactured and we may have delivery in the next month. There are other decisions to make, including the replacement of the frosted glass panel which I find to be an unattractive distraction, and what kind of design to put on the east wall behind the chapel altar. I invited James Hubbell, a well-known local artist who has designed stained glass for several churches, to come and do some brainstorming with a group of us. I had this thought that it would be wonderful if the Cathedral were to become a "James Hubbell destination". He made no promises about a commitment to do the work, but about a month ago he came and spent an afternoon with about a dozen of us while we threw out ideas and he offered his insights. I followed up with an email to him summarizing our collective ideas and attaching some pictures. The gist of the group's reflections was to maintain the chapel as a holy space for quiet meditation, to allow flexibility for occasional dramatic presentations, and to keep any decoration simple. Unfortunately Mr Hubbell was scheduled for a knee replacement shortly after our meeting, so he is currently occupied with physical therapy and has not been able to get back to me with his reflections. So the chapel is in a state of “already but not yet”, and it will stay that way for a while yet. Ultimately, like the chancel, I would like to find a way to eliminate the stairs between the nave and the chapel and provide a ramp with a standard pitch.

Offices and program space

When I arrived I found that my clergy staff were scattered all over the campus - Colin in the chapel crypt, Laurel in the attic, Brooks over in the Great Hall. Meanwhile we had various part-time staff camping out in different spots. The choir rehearsal room, choir vesting room, and choir library were on three different floors. Wi-fi and phone service were inconsistent through the campus- Colin didn't even have phone service in his subterranean office. I became quickly aware that most of the bathrooms are not exactly inviting, and that there is insufficient space for vestments and altar equipment. The Sunday School classes are spread all over, making it difficult for Christine D'Amico to easily oversee operations. Handicapped access is an issue in many parts of the facility.

Just after I arrived, the diocesan staff moved out. An opportunity presented itself: space! We also acquired some money from the sale in February of the Nutmeg and 5th lot. It was tempting to dive into a big, expensive construction project to renovate; create new bathrooms; put related program areas together; provide a more coherent flow for staff accommodation. I resisted the temptation and chose instead to ask the Chapter to authorize a strategic planning effort, to give us a period in which to pray, listen and dream about what our priorities should be in the years ahead, to determine a vision and set goals accordingly. At the end of this forum I will introduce to you the members of the new Vision for Mission committee, who will be dreaming with me over the next year. Meanwhile, the Chapter agreed that there were things we could do to improve communications and staff conditions with minimal expense. Over the last two weeks you may have noticed a certain amount of upheaval in the offices as we have implemented this lesser, interim plan. The accounting department has moved to the former diocesan offices in the First Floor Great Hall suite. The part-time and volunteer staff workstations have also moved down there. We have spruced up the break room downstairs and made it, along with the BIshop's former office, available for small meetings. Colin has moved into the office where accounts used to be, close to my office, and Laurel is moving, along with Christine D'Amico, into the office opposite Brooks on the 2nd floor of the Great Hall. Both of those offices also have space for small gatherings, subject to the approval of their clergy occupants. The wi-fi and phone service will be expanded and improved. All of these changes will be helpful for the day-to-day operations. But the new bathrooms, the new handicapped access, the consolidation of choir facilities, the ramps in the chancel and chapel will have to wait a bit, so that whatever we do will be part of an overarching sense of mission and priority rather than a piecemeal fix.

Master Plan

Those of you fairly new to the Cathedral may not know about the Master Plan, which was developed to facilitate the development of all the land owned by the Cathedral at this spot, other than the land occupied by the Cathedral and the Great Hall. The plan reflects a long-standing goal to maximize this asset for the ministry and mission of the church, by working with a developer to build some kind of mixed-use construction that would give us more office, program, and parking space, along with a steady income. However, the shape of the plan has steadily evolved over the years since the Cathedral was built in the 50's.

The Cathedral Chapter is the sole member of two LLC's: Nutmeg and Olive, and Fifth & Laurel. N&O was set up to implement the master plan to develop the land immediately to the north and south of the Cathedral, the northern half of this block (this office building, Park Chateau and the parking lot), and the lot on the corner of Nutmeg and 5th. F&L was set up to manage condo properties gifted to the Cathedral. N&O is the sole member of F&L, and both LLCs have the same board of managers. Five managers with staggered terms: Ken Tranbarger, Kendall Squires, Jack Lentz, Christine Spalding, and Mark Lester. Mark was appointed in the interim period. The Dean has traditionally served as a manager. N&O has been overseeing the evolution of the master plan since it was formed in 2004, but the plan predates the LLC, going all the way back to the original construction. In fact there have been quite a few editions of the Master Plan, and the vision has continued to evolve.

The original goals of the master plan included the provision of affordable housing. In the course of the permitting process over the last few years, the cathedral's neighbors objected to that provision and that goal became almost invisible. However, we do have Park Chateau which currently provides affordable housing, so you could say that we have kept that goal alive.

Here are some characteristics of current reality affecting the Master Plan:


  • The image the diocese is projecting through its ministry center in Ocean Beach, with the relinquishment of fancy diocesan digs in favor of a servant image and mission. This is a mission mentality that we would do well to imitate.
  • The change in our office space needs caused by the diocesan move and the demise of PACEM.
  • The necessary change to the plan caused by the sale of the Nutmeg parcel.
  • The ever-increasing need for affordable housing in this city and the migration of the millennial generation and retiring boomers back into cities in general.
  • The changing missional theology of the church at large, as we focus outwards on service and accessibility to a community that no longer knows who we are or can be relied upon to have enough interest to enter our buildings, let alone make a commitment to a specific parish or even denomination. You've heard me speak about the "Great Emergence": this is the big picture of the church in the early 21st century.


We have some money in the bank. Not enough for a major construction project, but enough, along with our lack of debt, to give us some level of serenity regarding capital improvements as we contemplate the near future.

Our growing ministry with young families means we should give serious consideration to Sunday School space. We have no purpose-built classrooms, although we do have the former diocesan offices.

Youth ministry

I mentioned noticing that we have no Sunday school classroom block. This hasn't been a major issue in recent decades as there hasn't been a large population of young families. Now, however, I see a wonderful opportunity presenting itself. The cathedral has become known as a welcoming and inclusive community, and our LGBT population has blossomed, bringing many blessings to the congregation. Young families are noticing this. Young parents who want their children to grow up in a faith community where everyone is truly included are coming to St. Paul's because they want to be part of us. Without any conscious marketing effort, we have become a destination church for millennials and their children. Our youth and family ministry is growing. Christine D'Amico has done an incredible job of wrangling volunteers and keeping our Sunday School program healthy, but she is here for only 15 hours a week, and we are at a point where the ministry needs more support. When I arrived I asked Laurel to oversee the youth and family ministry; I think this was more clergy oversight than there had been in the past, and it's still not enough. We have a group of teens who love St. Paul's and who love each other. We need to expand the staff support so that our kids have more opportunities to grow and learn together. Christine has her own business which is also thriving; she cannot add to her hours. So I am looking for the financial support to add a youth minister in 2015. This is an exciting challenge: God is sending us children to raise. We can't let them down. How will we allow for the further growth of our ministry with families? It's something the Vision for Mission committee will be tackling.

Outreach

Thanks to Colin, we now have a solid outreach committee with Paula Peeling as a wise and strong chair. I see outreach as a core ministry of any church: if we don't look outside of our own needs to the needs of the world, if we don't stretch outside our comfort zones, the church will begin to die and we will lose opportunities to be transformed. There are lots of ways we can serve the community beyond our walls. Dorcas House is an important ministry, but we also have ministries to those who live in the Park and to refugees in our midst. On October 26 I will be preaching at St. Luke's and I would love to have some representatives of St. Paul's come with me. St. Luke's is a small, struggling parish with a large number of refugees from Sudan and South Sudan. As you know, I have visited South Sudan, and I am interested in learning how we might all work together. Outreach to those across the globe reminds us that we are all the body of Christ and helps us get outside our bubble.

Speaking of getting outside the bubble, you may have noticed that I am an extravert. On Palm Sunday and St. George's Day, we held our traditional parades around the neighborhood. I was asked if we should just do one block and keep it small. NO, I said. Let's get out there. Let's be loud and proud! Similarly, for the Pride Parade, we sprinkled the crowd with holy water to increase our profile and to let people know they are loved. I believe that we need to get outside the church more, to go to the community, to offer ourselves as servants in the city around us. So Chris Harris and I formed a Commission for the City, a committee that does work we might otherwise call evangelism, strengthening our awareness of events in the community and getting us organized so that when events like Earth Day or the Aids walk come along, we are ready to participate and have ways to make our presence felt. This may bring people into the congregation, but it's really more about sharing the good news of God's love without expectation: that's true evangelism. That's why I have breakfast at Harvey Milk's each Friday and why I ask you to Tweet or post on Facebook about our sermons and programs. we have good news to share; we need to convince the community out there that we are the kind of Christians who love and accept, who don't exclude and condemn. I have learned that there is little in the way of organized ecumenical fellowship in San Diego: there are organizations like the ICWJ that bring leaders from different faith communities together for a cause, but there doesn't seem to be a ministerial association. So I am making my own connections, forming friendships with other ministers and hoping that something will grow out of that. We can do so much more together than we can do alone, and as a Cathedral we have a unique charism and call to provide leadership in the wider community.

Pastoral Care

In the pastoral care arena, I early on discovered that we had a cell phone for pastoral emergencies but it was held by one person who never got a break from that duty. So I asked my valued colleagues, the active and retired clergy, and we set up a rotation schedule so that about eight of us each take the phone for a month at a time. That system seems to be working pretty well. Stephen Ministry is a lay pastoral ministry, started by the Lutherans, which provides a way for lay people to receive training in pastoral care and assigns them to people who need someone to walk with them for a while. Often a Stephen Minister will be assigned when the crisis is over, the funeral or surgery past, or the diagnosis of a terminal illness has been given. A Stephen Minister will walk with you, meeting with you for an hour every week, for up to two years if necessary. It's not a substitute for clergy care or for therapy; but it is a ministry that changes the lives of both giver and recipient. I am dreaming about sending two or three lay people to Stephen Leader training so that they can start the ministry here. It could greatly enrich what we already have in place.

Stewardship

You will soon hear about the upcoming pledge campaign, with its theme of Living Water. I hope that when you start to think and pray about your pledge, you will remember what I've said about youth ministry and pastoral care. I haven't even talked about our ministry to the Latino community and the ways we might build on that, or the Saturday evening service and the many possibilities for that. And then there's the $40,000 the diocese paid us in rent for the offices and which of course we will not have in 2015. That's all I'm going to say about financial needs for now - there will be more later in the fall of course.

Identity

Just a few words about our identity. I am very interested, along with my fellow Deans, in exploring what it means to be a Cathedral in America in the 21st century. You've heard me mention that a few times this morning. I intend to be active in the North American Conference of Deans, which will meet in Jerusalem next April, and I have been invited to participate in a small group of Deans who will explore the question of cathedral identity over the course of the next year or two.

Vision for Mission

Finally, I want to introduce you to the Vision for Mission committee. As I said, Chapter authorized me to bring together a group of diverse parishioners to dream, play, and discern what our primary values and goals should be over the next five years. We will begin our work next Saturday and expect to produce something for Chapter to consider by the end of next summer. I know some people couldn't be here because of choir practice or another commitment, but those members of the committee who are here, please come forward when I say your name, and stand up here beside me so everyone can see you. The co-chairs are Mark Lester and Kris Hatch. Committee members are Betty Coats, Max D'Amico, Susan Hulbert, Gladis Jimenez, Canon Richard Lief, Steve Mater, Marshall Moore, Mark Patzman, John Peeling, Bob Reed, Howard Smith, Kim Sorrell, and Robin Taylor. Helena Chan will serve as chaplain, and we will have two professional facilitators from within the diocese: Allan Dorsey, a member of St. Peter's, Del Mar, and Donna Watson, a member of St. Bart's.

Along with the Chapter, these are people who will be lending their wisdom and insight to the task of corporately dreaming up God's plan for our future, at least for the next few years. Thank you all for your commitment to St. Paul's.

-The Very Rev Penny Bridges
Forum  September 21 2014 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

St. Paul's Cathedral for the Neighborhood



Sisters and Brothers,

I invite you to join a conversation this coming Sunday, October 13 at our 9 am forum exploring the myths and realities of homelessness, what we do to help, and what we might do together in Christ's name in the time ahead.

Our Cathedral is located across the street from Balboa Park, a place of enrichment and recreation for tourists and residents, and a place of refuge and struggle for many without homes.  We recognize that homelessness is a complex problem not easily solved, but we are compelled by a Christian commitment to the poor to do what we can to ease human suffering.

I wonder what a Christian response to such suffering would look like for St. Paul's in this time and place?  What can we Christians do or say to address the troubling decline of empathy in today's world?

Again in this Sunday's Gospel, God uses the forgotten to remind the rest of us that we all are in need of saving love, a warm embrace, and basic human care.

Blessings, Colin
The Rev. Colin Mathewson

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Creating Peace – The Language of Nonviolent Communication

Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. writes at the beginning of his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: 
“What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. Believing that it is in our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate manner, I have been preoccupied most of my life with two questions. What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature even under the most trying circumstances?” 
These are my questions as well and I have spent much of my life in pursuit of the answers. My last major paper in seminary was on the topic of violence in humanity, a topic chosen after witnessing an especially ugly church fight. Although we profess love, compassion and peace as core values, we are immersed in the cultural sea of domination and control. And because our humanity is uniquely expressed through language, it is language that often precedes and escalates violence.

Rosenberg tells his story and offers a different way, a more excellent way to express ourselves. He calls it nonviolent communication, a way of communicating from the heart. As Christians we believe the language of life came to us as the living Word, Jesus, Human Being, Savior, Christ. Our challenge is that we are fluent in the language of the culture but not the language of life.

I invite you to join me in a conversation about communication and to consider becoming fluent in a new language. On Sunday May 26 and Sunday June 2, I will host two forums at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral where we will begin to learn about this new language. Like any spiritual practice, it requires work, discipline and play. It is the way of Jesus who came and stood among the disciples and said, “Peace be with you.”

I hope to see you there!

The Very Rev. Rebecca McClain is the interim Dean of St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral in San Diego, California. For more information about this forum, please visit www.stpaulcathedral.org or call 619-298-7261.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Wedding gifts, wedding blessings

Marriage is on our mind this week. There's the upcoming "Conversation on Marriage" at Skyline Church this Sunday, and a new 9am Forum Series asking "What makes long lasting relationships?" aimed at those in same-sex pr heterosexual relationship.  This series is led by Dr. Marjorie Coburn, a clinical psychologist. The first forum on Sunday August 5th at 9am will feature the Rev. Canon Allisyn Thomas, who will discuss the recently approved Liturgy for Blessing the Unions of Same-Sex Couples. 

À propos of both these events, here's a reflection which appeared on the Friends of Jake blog last week.  Cross posted with permission.


Last week the Episcopal Church passed an approved, if provisional liturgy for The Witnessing and Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant. Predictably much uproar ensued. Is it a marriage rite? (no.) Will straight people use it? (not likely—there are already BCP liturgies for marriage, and for blessing of a civil marriage, which remain officially off-limits for LGBT people). In the comments to some posts, several couples of long standing were insulted. If we’ve been together 20+ years, seemed the theme, why on earth would I do this now?  If it's not even "real"?

Coincidentally, BP and I were at a (non-church) event last week where we met an out, gay man, M., who has been with his partner 27 years. The host genially barraged M, saying “you live in New York! You can get married!”  M. was modestly annoyed at this. “Why would we get married NOW?” he asked. “That would just insult the years we've had--as if they weren’t real.”

Now, I’ve gone on numerous times here about why I believe there should ultimately be one marriage rite (you can read my commentary and links here). But in this post, I want to ignore that, and address the common theme between these two responses: “Why should I do this now? If marriage is a covenant between two people, I have already done that.”

Yup, you have! And so did my wife BP and I, when we exchanged rings privately. Our hearts were sealed together at that moment.

But we also took advantage of marrying, when it became (briefly) legal in California, and we took advantage of the blessing, when our Bishop allowed that possibility. I’ve told you about both events (here and here). While neither of these events changed our hearts towards each other, they nevertheless were very important to our relationship, and they shared something in common.

Both our wedding, and subsequent blessing, put our relationship into the context of community. Each turned out to be a profound and moving gift to us. And that’s what we told M., as we explained why he might want to marry.

No man is an island unto himself, wrote John Donne, and neither is a marriage. The whole concept exists within a culture and community. When the window to marry opened in CA, we said to each other, “this is complicated (because of DOMA) and it may even be taken away (because of the pending Prop8). It’s not like a straight marriage in those regards. It's not the full thing itself. But we need to take the opportunities given. If we don’t seize the opportunity, and show how much this matters, there won’t be progress.” It seemed very rational.

We of course discovered that in every important way, it WAS and IS marriage, and we were lifted by it far more than we would have expected ahead of time. After all, we had already made that commitment. But our wedding was a chance to celebrate our relationship with friends and family, making public what had been private. They held us up in joy, and welcomed us to the broader community. That feeling of being held up was palpable. Amazing.  It meant so much more than we could have imagined.

And we found, two and a half years later, that our blessing was much more than a blessing of our marriage.  It didn't matter that we couldn’t use a BCP liturgy for our blessing.  It was, as I told you before, as much our Cathedral community claiming us and our marriage, as it was us claiming a blessing from them. Again, a palpable feeling. To become a gift is even greater than receiving one.

It’s no coincidence, then, that the title of the SCLM resources is “I Will Bless You, and You Will Be a Blessing".

Marriage and blessing is not for us, the couple. It is for us, the community. It is a giving to us, and in return the giving of us.

Yes, I understand that there may be legal as well as philosophical reasons why many LGBT people may choose not to marry legally. Many will prefer not to engage with the current liturgy because it’s not officially marriage. And, of course, many couples have had commitment ceremonies or blessings already—they are already beyond this. Everyone has the choice to make.

But… I want you to consider that by engaging the new rite, it becomes marriage. I can’t think of any LGBT couple who would undergo a blessing service for whom it is NOT personally a marriage covenant, regardless of legal technicalities, and I’ll guarantee you the people witnessing it will consider it the same.

And so we were married. And we were, and are, blessed. And both of these were, and are, astonishing gifts not only to us, but of us.

Be a gift.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Dealing with the unexpected

At the forum on 1.30.11, Pastoral Counselor Brooke McGillis of the Cathedral Center for Pastoral Counseling Center discussed dealing with unexpected change.

When thinking about unexpected change I think immediately about the artistic process that includes the “happy accident.” I am an artist and have struggled to know when a work is “done.” As an artist, I have often worked over the genius in a piece, not seeing the beauty in stopping; and once we have crossed those limits, we have lost the point of praxis and the relationship to the clear edge of the work. In a visceral way, there is an experience with managing that relationship between praxis and the unknown edge.

The dynamic element to the relationship between praxis, (point of departure) and the edge is the function of the relationship. If one were to require change in this paradigm, the praxis is not flexible and the edge may be unknown, how is it then that change happens at all? Change happens in the dynamic of relationship. This can be said in any context.

Assumptions
Uncertainty is a characterization of our collective projected anxiety. It is a characterization because certainty does not exist. It is a character in our understanding of reality. We operate as if there is an implicit agreement that if certain criteria are met then we believe a course of events will occur. Certainty in the face of our intellectual understanding that there is not certainty acts as an implicit agreement thus contributes to how we structure our systems.

The temptation is so intoxicating that certainty can become the valuation of the ontogenesis of our hope. Put more clearly, hope is employed with the hope of certainty. If we were to draw a picture of this, we would have a tight loop that seems impenetrable since there is no such thing as certainty. In fact, the nature of hope seems to be smothered under the weight of certainty. Why force hope to function as a prop to certainty, and mollifying the power of hope by turning away from the uncertain.

Let us continue to think in terms of pictures and images. If we imagine how a cycle of hope being a condition of certainty would look after some time; an image that comes to my mind is a bubble. An ever expanding mass of apprehension that that waits for hope to penetrate the bubble but hope is being pushed out by the force of the need to be certain.

Back to our artist selves…our visceral experience of each other can penetrate the bubble of apprehension and ought to be seen as social medicine. We heal neurologically by way of connection to the people around us. We have clinical evidence to this as well as an intuitive understanding that to have relationships is to heal the injuries of the uncertain. Those same neurological structures can be employed to heal social systems.

A question that prompted me to write this essay was this, “How is it that I can walk away from other people’s suffering without experiencing a deep sense of pain since my empathic systems are very much in tact?” What is happening here?

The way that the brain works is telling us what is happening. The amygdala is primarily responsible for our fight or flight responses, and it operate more quickly than our frontal lobes that are responsible for most of our logical functioning. If the amygdala were not quicker than the rest of our brain then we could find our selves thinking about how fast the car is moving as it runs us over instead of having the burst of energy to get out of the way. Therefore, in this way we are built to be fearful first and a natural response to fear is to stay out of the way of what is scary and hence, the hope for certainty.

We have an ambivalent relationship with reality. Reality is both the object of comfort and the cause of pain. In the individual, denial is a manifestation of an ambivalent relationship with reality and on the social level, we stay silent when outrage would be the congruent response…as a wait and see strategy. Are we waiting for blindness? Wait until we do not see…until we have lost the choice to see…I do not know.

In the individual neurological nervous system an ambivalent relationship with a primary care giver can make it difficult to want comfort when comfort is needed. I see analogies with the individual neurological system and out greater social systems. We need comfort and yet we are afraid to ask. We are afraid because we have been injured.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Advent Forum Series


Join us for a four-week forum series centering on the human quest for peace at every level of our lives. With Dean Richardson hosting the series, each forum will have its own guest speaker. Sundays at 9am.

Nov. 28 -- Dale Wilson: Searching for Serenity. Dale is completely committed to the ongoing discipline of dancing in the rain as a way of dealing with life’s storms. He grew up in a radically dysfunctional and destructive home, spent years in a cycle of violence, addiction and crime, and now lives a clean and sober life that allows him to be of service to many others as he pursues greater wisdom and deeper love.

Dec. 5—Amnon ben Yehuda: Searching for Peace in the World.
Amnon will tell a soldier’s story about healing the wounds of war. He will describe his personal journey to healing after suffering a very serious bullet injury to his head. Equally grievous was the loss of many of his comrades in a heroic and painful battle in the Galilee. It has been a journey of forty years that he appreciates having the opportunity to share.

Dec. 12—The Rev. Canon Allisyn Thomas: Searching for Peace Right Here.
Canon Thomas will give us tools for deeper communication with those living closely to us—neighbors, spouses, partners, family members—so that the Reign of God, said by our Lord to be very near, might manifest more powerfully in our day-to-day lives.

Dec. 19—The Rev. Canon Mary Moreno Richardson: Searching for Peace in Dark Places.
Rev. Mary has spent a considerable portion of her ministry providing direction and solace to those in great need (victims of human trafficking, harassed gay teens, immigrant children awaiting deportation hearings, women and children who have suffered domestic violence, incarcerated youth in East LA). She will share the hope and wisdom she has gathered from her years ministering to those who dwell in darkness and yearn for light.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Forum followup: resources for repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Our forum this week discussed Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT), which prohibits openly gay, lesbian or bisexual people from serving in the Armed Forces. (Our transgendered friends and family are covered by other policies.)

It's important to remember that DADT does not prohibit LGB folks from serving. It prohibits them from being honest about who they are. It is estimated that about 60,000 gay people are at this moment serving in silence, forced to lie about their lives and loves. They cannot list their same-sex partner as their next of kin. They can't talk about their families. They can't get health coverage for their children with a same sex partner. Their families at home aren't covered by the military support structure. If they are discovered and discharged, they aren't even paid the same separation pay.

Over 14,000 have been discharged since DADT was passed in 1993. Increasingly, the courts see no justification for these discharges, no evidence for harm.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff , Admiral Mike Mullen, favors repeal.

Over 70% of serving military see no problem with repeal.

Over 70% of the American public overall favors repeal.

Over 26 countries allow openly gay people to serve including the United Kingdom, Canada, Denmark, and Israel, with no problems.

Amazingly, however, despite this popular support for repeal, and absence of any evidence of harm, DADT repeal (part of the Defense Appropriations bill) is a political football in the US Senate and is opposed by the Republicans.

In California, our Senators support repeal. Other states' senators may not. Please encourage your friends and family in other states to call their Senators and ask them to allow open service by LGBT servicemembers.

More resources:


You can see the video of the forum here.

Photo: Tombstone of Air Force Sergeant Leonard Matlovich , who fought his dismissal in the 1970s and became one of the earliest activists for open service. He lies in the Congressional Cemetery in Washington DC.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

IMAGES OF PEACE ON EARTH


From the IMAGES OF PEACE ON EARTH art exhibit brochure: "Over a year and a half ago, my wife, Carolyn, and I visited the Peace Memorials in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. We asked ourselves, 'How can we bring this home? How can we share the impact of the absolute need for peace in a world where nuclear bombs proliferate?' In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said, 'Blessed are the peacemakers.' How do you and I become peacemakers? It is our hope that this exhibition, and the five July/August Sunday morning (9 am) peace forums (along with the Hihon Hidankyo poster panel display at each of the forums), will help us in our mutual vocation.

This exhibit is being displayed in the Cathedral for the entire month of August. It commemorates the atom bombings of the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki 65 years ago.The remaining two forums on Sunday August 15, and 22 (9am, Guild Room) are meant to continue our growing awareness of the tragedy of war and possible ways of achieving peace on earth beginning with ourselves.

August 15 Forum - Members of the Non-Violent Peace Force - an international organization which mediates small conflicts around the world will share with us their methods of resolution. These methods can provide us with a model of making peace in our own lives, with our families and friends, and in the larger community and in the world. Time for discussion will follow the presentation.

August 22 Forum
- Dialogue with Dr. Mike Inoue, Honorary Japanese Consul for San Diego; Sheri Shively, a Quaker Chaplain for the U.S. Army; and Roena Oestling, a Quaker who has integrated peace principals into her professional and personal life. What insights have we gained during the August exhibition and forums? What are the implications for us as we seek to live a life of peace? Canon Lief will facilitate the discussion.

Come and visit the exhibit. Take time to reflect on the art. I have found that as I spend some time focusing on one piece of art that holds my attention, I have the opportunity of discovering something deeper that I didn't see before. I hope this will be your experience as well. And then, come to the remaining forums where we share with others our reflections as we seek together to be and build a more peaceful world.

- The Rev. Canon Richard Lief, St. Paul's Cathedral Canon for the Performing and Visual Arts

Monday, May 3, 2010

Forum Sunday May 9th: Voices of Witness

The May 9th forum (9am, Guild Room) will present Voices of Witness Africa. In this short film, LGBT Africans tell about discovering their sexuality and about the terrors of coming out to families who are apt to disown them or worse. They talk about their dreams, and their relationship with God. Their straight allies tell of the cost they have paid for daring to minister to these Christians. And they all speak of their hope for a future in which the church listens to and values all of its children. There will be discussion following the film about implications for us as people of faith.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Forum presentations: Jacques Derrida and Deconstruction applied to religion

I hope you can join me for the upcoming Sunday forums on April 25 and May 2.

I will be presenting on the following topics:

"Jesus begins to write". The Tradition of Logos and Presence in Western Culture.

Faith and Deconstruction : Reading the Bible for the First Time with Jacques Derrida.


The French philosopher Jacques Derrida (1930-2004) is arguably the most well known philosopher of contemporary times. He is also one of the most prolific and controversial. Distancing himself from the various philosophical movements and traditions that preceded him on the French intellectual scene (phenomenology, existentialism, and structuralism), in the mid 1960s, he developed a strategy called deconstruction. Deconstruction has had an enormous influence in many disparate fields, including psychology, literary theory, cultural studies, linguistics, feminism, sociology and anthropology. Poised in the interstices between philosophy and literature, his influence on Biblical scholarship and interpretation is just now beginning to be felt by theologians and philosophers 6 years after his death in 2004.

Given the tragic history of violence - both physical and verbal - associated with religion in our times, Derrida's thoughts on the openness and play inherent in language and writing are more pertinent and called for now than ever before.

Although considered an atheist by many of his readers, he was nonetheless the keynote speaker at the plenary session of the 2002 joint annual meeting of the American Academy of Religion (AAR) and the Society of Biblical Literature (SBL) in Toronto. This meeting led to the publishing of "Derrida and Religion: Other Testaments", a book that transcribed the extraordinary dialogues between Derrida and participating biblical scholars and theologians at the meeting in Toronto.

As Yvonne Sherwood, organizer of the 2002 joint AAR/SBL conference stated,

"By Derrida’s account, all acts of writing and thinking are driven by a fall that has always and already happened: an awareness that we have not yet told enough, been sufficiently faithful to the other person, and that we can never perfectly coincide with ourselves - with oneself as “subject”. Derrida even points out that in the “becoming literature of God” that is the Hebrew bible in the book of Genesis , even God seems to realize that He has not “done something that cannot be improved upon” in those curious moments when he repents or regrets.

The April 25th forum will involve presenting the foundation and mechanics of Derrida's philosophy and why he wrote so extensively on Plato and Kierkegaard.

The May 2nd forum will involve applying deconstructive readings to various texts in both the Old and New Testaments.

See you there!

--George Kuhrts