During this time of Lent, Advent feels like it was a long time ago. But we recently received some notes that show the many blessings that came from the Advent project created by our outgoing Director of Children, Youth, and Families, Robin Taylor.
You may remember that more than 30 St. Paul’s families signed up to engage in Advent through an at home spiritual practice devised by Robin. Each family was given a basket and daily scripture and meditation cards, one for each day of Advent. Each family was also matched with a family in the All Kids Academy Head Start program at St. Alban’s in El Cajon, many of them refugee families. The cards asked the St. Paul family to meditate on an idea and, if they wanted to, add something to the basket for their match family. In January, Robin then took a carload stuffed full of gifts to St. Albans.
Last month, St. Paul’s received gifts of gratitude in return from some of the families at St. Alban’s. They sent thank you notes, chocolates, and a teddy bear. We invite you to read their touching notes, which have been transcribed below:
To the wonderful people at St. Paul’s Cathedral,
This is just a short note where I can’t say thank you enough for the beautiful Epiphany gifts and turkey. The card from your best friend A makes me want to explore and the scarf, hat and gloves were much appreciated for my daughter. My grandson is thrilled for baseball season to start to use his new glove and my son who is autistic fell in love with the backpack. Every item is cherished and appreciated.
Thank you,
T, K, KJ and M
*********************************************************************************
Thank you for the Christmas gift and turkey. My family really appreciated the wonderful gifts and drawing!
Love,
The H Family *********************************************************************************
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are very honored and humbled to be blessed by the staff and families at St. Paul’s Cathedral.
Many love and blessings to you all,
The F Family
*********************************************************************************
Thank you so much for the gifts. As a single mother of two small children, I am very appreciative of all of this. My children are as grateful as I am. Every bit helps make my life and my children’s life better. Again thank you so much. Happy Holidays from myself and my babies.
Thank you!
M, N, and N
*********************************************************************************
Dear C
We are very grateful for the blessings you have given us. I’m also a grandma, and I know what is like to be proud of one’s family. God bless you, and your family too. Also, I know you like crafts, so I give these to you with love!
From,
NP and family
*********************************************************************************
Thank you for the act of kindness and everybody included.
Thank you from the B family
*********************************************************************************
To Whom It May Concern,
I wanted to write a letter acknowledging the generosity and kindness this holiday season. My son was rewarded with a Three Kings Basket with numerous great gifts, as well as a holiday turkey. We are very grateful that we were chosen to receive such great gifts.
Thank you again,
S, R, and W
*********************************************************************************
Dear A & family
Thank you so much for all the wonderful goodies. We truly appreciate them. We hope your holidays were great.
A & B
*********************************************************************************
I really want to thank you for the beautiful gesture of generosity that you so kindly give to us. My kids and I enjoy the basket gifts and we also went on a shopping spree (groceries!). Words do not express my gratitude, but I am very thankful.
The R Family
*********************************************************************************
Thank you so much for all the gifts. My son is very grateful and as a single mother of two children I appreciate it very much as well. My little family is very fortunate to have received these gifts. God Bless!
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Blessing the AIDS quilt
Loving God, you created us to be in relationship and to care for one another. As we view this quilt today, we ask you to open our hearts to the loving relationships that are recorded and reflected in the craftsmanship and beauty of this work. We bring before you this morning all who have been affected by the plague of HIV/AIDS: those who have died, those who live with it, those who live in fear of it, and those whose families and communities have been stretched and torn because of our inability to recognize the humanity and dignity of every person. We ask your forgiveness for the ways in which we have oppressed and stigmatized those with HIV/AIDS. We ask your forgiveness for the smallness and hardness of our hearts. We pray for the healing of memories, relationships, and individuals. We pray for medical breakthroughs that will bring an end to this scourge and for a cure for AIDS. We pray for the grace to celebrate the beauty and worth of every human being. May the beauty of this quilt lift our spirits to contemplate the beauty of all your creation. These things we ask in your holy name.
Photos by Susan Jester
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Father Matthew Presents: Table Blessings (video)
What are some good blessings at table? Episcopal priest the Rev. Matthew Moretz introduces some of his favorites.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
In thanks for a multitude of blessings
On Saturday the 26th, Lisa Churchill and Susan Forsburg reaffirmed their wedding vows as their marriage was blessed at St Paul's. These are Lisa's thoughts, on the morning after. Photo courtesy of Hannah Wilder.
Here this morning after our Blessing, I feel calm and complete. I have my wife, my cat, my aunt, my knitting—all is good! Trite as it may sound, yesterday truly was a dream come true. We keep marveling that five years ago, we could never have imagined this happening. Of course between now and then, so much has changed. I’ve found a happiness I didn’t know existed, let alone considered possible for me—civilly divorced from my (again) best friend and father of my children; civilly married to my soul mate… which much of the world simply doesn’t understand, at best. Today, that part of the world is distant, as we bask in the warmth of belonging, the comfort of family that the community of St. Paul’s has become for us.
When we married in 2008, it was festive and fun, filled with relatives and friends, at a lovely location on San Diego Bay. It was also during a conflicted time in my spiritual life, as a member of “that other catholic church.” The very morning of our wedding, rejection and invective was hurled at me as proxy for a whole swath of humanity via an angry little priest in Little Italy. The pain and anger of that morning was healed yesterday by an abundant outpouring of love and acceptance and inclusion.
I want to hold and cherish every moment of the memory! It began with breakfast out and anxious glances at the heavens, wondering if the predicted cold, wet weather would dampen our plans. We dressed and headed to church early to “dress” the tables in the Great Hall. We used the decorations from 2008—shells, candles, and glass beads—arranged a little differently, and combined with framed pictures from that day. Soon the time came to move to the nave. The chancel was lovely with its extra sconces; the organ sang under Martin’s expert hands. After some exuberant bell ringing, we walked down the aisle with our friends, from verger to clergy, and I felt the first welling of joyful tears. More friends presented our chosen readings: Ruth and Naomi’s covenant; Paul advising the Romans to “hold fast to what is good,” by loving; and John’s account of Jesus’ first miracle, at Cana.
When Scott began the homily, he first invoked those who couldn’t be with us, particularly Susan’s recently passed father and my own parents, gone for many years. As he passed the box of tissues, he reminded us that our parents were certainly there with us in spirit. He went on to thank all the people, present and not, who had made this day possible by their tireless fight for what is right and good—celebrating the union of two people in love, regardless of gender—and voicing the certainty that some day, it won’t be the minority who “get” us and people like us. Turning with a twinkle to our readings, he shared that he enjoys teasing out the truths revealed in the couple’s choice of scripture (many of us grinned, recalling “heaping coals on the heads of enemies” in Paul’s epistle). As ever, Scott’s analysis helped me see aspects I’d not noticed before. He spoke of the abundance evident in the Gospel—180 gallons is a lot of wine!—and how that related to hospitality… which ties in to the themes of honor and loving in Romans… and ultimately it’s about Covenant: not simply us with one another, but in relation with God. I loved his recounting the saying that the only argument a married couple should have is, “what would you like…?” “No, what would YOU like…?” The most amazing thing about the whole homily was that it was intimately directed to and about us, as if it were just the three of us there.
When we moved on to the Blessing ritual, I happily felt the gravity of, “as long as you both shall live,” and joyfully responded, “I do.” (In our civil wedding, our vows were much more free-form, and while it made the same level of promise, saying “I do” in this formal way brought the weight of tradition.) I kept looking at my beautiful bride and feeling like I needed to pinch myself, that this communal Grace was actually happening!
Allisyn looked quite fierce as she admonished no one to put asunder what God has joined. Then, kneeling for the Blessing itself, I found myself wishing I had hung on to one of those hankies that came out at the homily. Sealing it, our friend Charlotte sang us the wedding blessing from Ptolemy. I’m tearing up again, now, just remembering it!
While the liturgy of the Eucharist was a familiar form, wonderfully chanted in Allisyn’s soft soprano, it was made truly awe-filled for me as I was invited to elevate the Blood during the doxology. It was a feeling not unlike that I’ve felt on my two occasions as a chalice bearer, bringing this saving gift to others.
It was over in an instant, it seemed, but as we processed out, organ trumpets triumphant, I’d never felt so alive, so lifted up, so happy. Together with our church family, we celebrated US, with readings and liturgy and community, and invited God to be manifest in our union. Thank you all, for welcoming us home.
-Lisa Churchill
Susan's thoughts on the day can be read here. We'll add photos when they are available!

When we married in 2008, it was festive and fun, filled with relatives and friends, at a lovely location on San Diego Bay. It was also during a conflicted time in my spiritual life, as a member of “that other catholic church.” The very morning of our wedding, rejection and invective was hurled at me as proxy for a whole swath of humanity via an angry little priest in Little Italy. The pain and anger of that morning was healed yesterday by an abundant outpouring of love and acceptance and inclusion.
I want to hold and cherish every moment of the memory! It began with breakfast out and anxious glances at the heavens, wondering if the predicted cold, wet weather would dampen our plans. We dressed and headed to church early to “dress” the tables in the Great Hall. We used the decorations from 2008—shells, candles, and glass beads—arranged a little differently, and combined with framed pictures from that day. Soon the time came to move to the nave. The chancel was lovely with its extra sconces; the organ sang under Martin’s expert hands. After some exuberant bell ringing, we walked down the aisle with our friends, from verger to clergy, and I felt the first welling of joyful tears. More friends presented our chosen readings: Ruth and Naomi’s covenant; Paul advising the Romans to “hold fast to what is good,” by loving; and John’s account of Jesus’ first miracle, at Cana.
When Scott began the homily, he first invoked those who couldn’t be with us, particularly Susan’s recently passed father and my own parents, gone for many years. As he passed the box of tissues, he reminded us that our parents were certainly there with us in spirit. He went on to thank all the people, present and not, who had made this day possible by their tireless fight for what is right and good—celebrating the union of two people in love, regardless of gender—and voicing the certainty that some day, it won’t be the minority who “get” us and people like us. Turning with a twinkle to our readings, he shared that he enjoys teasing out the truths revealed in the couple’s choice of scripture (many of us grinned, recalling “heaping coals on the heads of enemies” in Paul’s epistle). As ever, Scott’s analysis helped me see aspects I’d not noticed before. He spoke of the abundance evident in the Gospel—180 gallons is a lot of wine!—and how that related to hospitality… which ties in to the themes of honor and loving in Romans… and ultimately it’s about Covenant: not simply us with one another, but in relation with God. I loved his recounting the saying that the only argument a married couple should have is, “what would you like…?” “No, what would YOU like…?” The most amazing thing about the whole homily was that it was intimately directed to and about us, as if it were just the three of us there.
When we moved on to the Blessing ritual, I happily felt the gravity of, “as long as you both shall live,” and joyfully responded, “I do.” (In our civil wedding, our vows were much more free-form, and while it made the same level of promise, saying “I do” in this formal way brought the weight of tradition.) I kept looking at my beautiful bride and feeling like I needed to pinch myself, that this communal Grace was actually happening!
Allisyn looked quite fierce as she admonished no one to put asunder what God has joined. Then, kneeling for the Blessing itself, I found myself wishing I had hung on to one of those hankies that came out at the homily. Sealing it, our friend Charlotte sang us the wedding blessing from Ptolemy. I’m tearing up again, now, just remembering it!
While the liturgy of the Eucharist was a familiar form, wonderfully chanted in Allisyn’s soft soprano, it was made truly awe-filled for me as I was invited to elevate the Blood during the doxology. It was a feeling not unlike that I’ve felt on my two occasions as a chalice bearer, bringing this saving gift to others.
It was over in an instant, it seemed, but as we processed out, organ trumpets triumphant, I’d never felt so alive, so lifted up, so happy. Together with our church family, we celebrated US, with readings and liturgy and community, and invited God to be manifest in our union. Thank you all, for welcoming us home.
-Lisa Churchill
Susan's thoughts on the day can be read here. We'll add photos when they are available!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
A Fearsome Blessing: The Words of Creation

“May I now present to you Hannah and Kathy Wilder!”Kathy and I were married five weeks ago at St. Paul’s Cathedral. Our ceremony began in the late afternoon, timed so the evening light would shine softly through the stained glass windows. It was a busy day, full of appointments and preparations. Luckily, I found 15 minutes to meditate and ground myself. Just before my hair appointment, I paused and pulled off my socks and shoes and planted my feet on the grassy patch just outside the salon. I went through a breathing meditation with a friend. It helped me feel calm, focused and grounded.
As I entered the Cathedral at the start of the ceremony, I was grateful for the journey that brought us to this point. The day I had been anticipating for over a year was finally here. I felt ready to savor it as it unfolded. I met my beloved and walked down the aisle with her and my ten-year-old son.
“We have come together today to ask for God’s blessing on Hannah and Kathy…”As we walked the long center aisle, I felt the presence of our family and friends gathered there to witness and celebrate our union.
I stood by Kathy in front of the Rev. Canon Allisyn Thomas and listened as the entrance song faded away. Then Allisyn raised her hand and began speaking the words of the liturgy we had lovingly chosen for this most important ceremony. Over months of creating and revising our liturgy, the words had become intimately familiar to me.
But as she began speaking, I felt as though I knew what the earth must have felt when God spoke it into being. I was struck by the image of our priest as the conduit for something intangible, great and unfathomable as it made its way into being, into consciousness, into our realm of words and light. I felt the presence of God.
“Eternal love never fails…”As she spoke of love, forgiveness, reconciliation and union, I was aware that our relationship was on the brink of something extraordinary. We were bringing our relationship into the Kingdom of God, where neither moth nor rust can destroy and thieves cannot break in and steal.
“for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish . . .”When I said my vows to Kathy, I took time to savor each phrase, calling all of me to be present to my words and their meaning. In the moment, I found that speaking my vows felt as natural as waking up in the morning after a good night’s sleep, or holding your child’s hand. Nothing could be more right.
“Will you stand by them, encourage, guide and pray for them in times of trouble and distress? We will.”About 35 friends and family surrounded us in the chancel (the front part of the church around the altar). They sat in the pews on either side of the altar and in the chairs below the organ pipes. They literally surrounded us with their presence, support and love. Three times during the ceremony, they voiced their support willingly and boldly. For that I am eternally grateful.
I was especially touched by Kathy’s mother who attended and gave her support freely and without reservation. As the only parent there, she embodied utmost approval. Her genuine joy about our marriage made it obvious that homosexuality was irrelevant to her. Kathy’s mom doesn’t just accept us; she celebrates us. And loves us.
My family? Not so much. They love me but they believe what their conservative Christian upbringing taught them: that homosexuality is a disease, a sickness and something to resist. Needless to say, they were not invited, but I felt a gaping hole where they would have been.
“‘Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now.’”In her sermon, Allisyn spoke about Jesus’ miracle of turning water into wine. She encouraged us to reserve our best wine for one another, instead of giving each other whatever’s left at the end of the day. Wise words that have already come in handy.
“Send your Holy Spirit upon these gifts.”We shared communion as our first act as a married couple. Kathy and I bore chalices for all who wanted to partake. Seeing the faces of loved ones come up and drink from the cup was especially powerful and intimate.
The rest of the evening with its toasts, conversations and revelry, reinforced how much our community loves and supports us. Again Allisyn served as a spokesperson as she said in a toast, “Your St. Paul’s community loves you. We support you. We stand by you. We are proud of you.”
“May God enrich the life you have chosen and fulfill your hopes.”
I wonder how many people can say that their church has explicitly voiced their approval and support of their relationship? Not too many I imagine!
When Allisyn gave that toast, I felt the whole Cathedral wrapping its arms around us. Some of the pain from the loss of my biologic family was, and is, tempered by the knowledge that St. Paul’s loves us and affirms us exactly as we are. We feel woven into the fabric of the lives of so many of you; we know where to turn for comfort, advice and friendship. Our lives are full of abundance because of St. Paul’s Cathedral and the whole diocese.
“And the blessing of God Almighty, Creator, Word and Spirit, be upon you and remain with you now and always.”Something has changed in my relationship with Kathy. We feel more deeply connected to one another and to our community. The words of the liturgy wove a beautiful tapestry around us and the people who loved and supported us throughout this journey to marriage.
Many of those people are you, the members of St. Paul’s Cathedral. For that I cannot thank you enough. We were able to enter into this mystical, alchemical union because of you, your prayers, your identities, your coming together week after week to affirm your faith in something greater than this material world and to proclaim to the world that all are welcome at a gothic cathedral on Sixth Avenue in Hillcrest, San Diego.
And as we walk the path of life together, we look forward to sharing our love and experiences with you, come what may.
-Hannah Miller Wilder
In July 2010, Bishop Mathes gave permission for the parishes in the Diocese to celebrate and bless the relationships of same sex couples in the congregation. Hannah and Kathy are the first couple to have their ceremony at St Paul's Cathedral. We thank Hannah for sharing her reflection of this most amazing day and we wish them both much joy in their new life together!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Blessing of the animals

After the shortened service, all repaired to the 6th Avenue courtyard where the clergy sat at a number of stations for individual blessings. It is impossible to attend this service without a smile on your face--and a healthy respect for the variety of life around us!
Here are just a few pictures (click on any picture for a closer view). Be sure to visit the Cathedral Flickr (photo) site to check out many more--you and your pet may be there!
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Sunday, September 26, 2010
Evangelizing over dessert

Writing on her blog, she tells us about the task force's recent visit to the Bishops' Meeting in Arizona to report on progress. The four members of the task force had a working dinner at their hotel, where something amazing happened.
[W]e settled into a long, lively dinner that included a dessert course with a side order of evangelism as three young hotel staff members came up to the table and individually engaged with us about the work the Episcopal Church is doing.Keep talking. Because you never know who may be listening!
The first one was a waiter – “Michael” – who said as a gay man it had never occurred to him that there were churches that would welcome him rather than condemn him. He thanked us for giving him hope that he hadn’t imagined he’d ever have with an earnestness that was deeply moving.
A few minutes later “Amanda” … our waitress … came up to the table to say that she’d encouraged Michael to come talk to us because she’d found him crying in the kitchen after listening to our conversations. She was raised Catholic but it “didn’t fit” anymore and she wanted to know where she should go to find an Episcopal Church. I gave her my card and told her to email me and I’d hook her up with folks in Phoenix.
The third was “Vanessa” … their supervisor … who thanked us for connecting with them and told us about her experience of finally finding a church home that helped her claim a relationship with God … and then being devastated when that church family rejected her gay friend. She’s going to email me, too.
It blew us away.
While we were obsessing about perfecting PowerPoint slides and refining our messaging about the SCLM project, these earnest young people responded to the few crumbs of conversation they overheard at our dinner table like they were starving for hope. And if those crumbs gave them that hope and energy – and gave them the courage to come up to a table full of “church people” and say, “Wow … we want to know more about what you’re talking about!” then imagine how they and countless others like them are yearning for the banquet we set every time we gather to witness to God’s inclusive love.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sermon: a Martha and Mary Moment
This is the text of the sermon by The Rev. Canon Allisyn Thomas, 18 July 2010
Today‘s Gospel reading from Luke tends to make women feel uncomfortable. Because there really aren’t that many stories about women in scripture, we tend to pay close attention to those that do, but this one cuts a little close to the bone. I think it is safe to say we would all prefer to sit at Jesus’ feet to be able to listen to what he has to say and simply take in the miracle of his presence.
And someone also has to make dinner. Let’s face it, one of the things you don’t hear in this story is any of Jesus’ disciples saying, “Martha, why don’t you go ahead and join Mary, we’ll take of things.”
The practice of hospitality was a particularly important one in the ancient Hebrew culture. We see this in our first reading, when the Lord, in the guise of three men, appears to Abraham. The first thing Abraham does is to arrange for their comfort by having Sarah prepare cakes, something she does without hesitation.
So for Mary to not assist Martha in providing for the comfort of their guest would not only be seen as inconsiderate but almost culturally taboo.
But when we look at Jesus as portrayed in the Gospels, we see breaking taboos was usually the least of his concerns. His words to Martha, are gentle but clear, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
People often see this story in terms of black and white: Mary is right, Martha is wrong. But to look at it so starkly, I think misses the point. It’s not what Martha is doing is wrong but there is something taking place at that point in time which is more important and her attention would be better spent there.
There is much to be said for righteous activity, whether it is based on cultural expectations such as hospitality, righting a wrong, advancing the Gospel in the world, or taking care of people we love. All of these things are not only good but necessary.
But activity, even righteous activity, without reflection or time set aside to enjoy and appreciate what has been accomplished, can become an idol in and of itself, causing those who are always busy to sometimes think less of or even resent others who do take time out for reflection, rest, or just plain quiet.
So, looking at the story of Martha and Mary in this light, it is not so much about activity or business vs. listening and taking in the word of God but rather about putting these things in proper perspective, in their proper place.
Which includes learning to appreciate what I would call Martha and Mary moments.
I have talked about my marriage before so I won’t reiterate all the fascinating details but the Reader’s Digest version is this: Skip and I were going to be married in June of 2000 before I was ordained. But when I realized my health insurance would end a couple of months prior to that date, we moved it up to December of 1999 so I wouldn’t have to pay a lot of money to cover those months.
So that fall with me in New York beginning my last year of seminary and Skip in San Diego recovering from his first, and somewhat unexpected, open heart surgery, we planned our wedding to take place at a friend’s house when I came back to San Diego for winter break.
On the day before my wedding, I bought my dress and shoes, and stopped at Costco to pick up drinks and food for the reception. Later in the afternoon, Skip and I met with John Chane, who was dean of the Cathedral at the time and was going to marry us, to talk about our service. And then in the evening we made dinner for our families.
It wasn’t until the next evening when I was at my friend’s house getting ready that it hit me I was getting married. Soon. Like in 30 minutes. I briefly considered passing out. However, as that didn’t seem like a good option I somehow managed to hold it together.
But when we assembled in the living room for the ceremony, and I looked at all the people there—people we loved and had been so helpful in making this day happen, I had, or I think more accurately was given, a profound Martha and Mary moment. I was old enough to know marriage can take work, but at the same time, savor what was happening right then. I felt such joy and gratitude in that moment, and ready to take on the next steps in our lives together—knowing some would be easier than others.
Martha and Mary moments are found in all marriages or lifelong committed relationships, but in those in which one or both of the persons in it are people of faith, the rhythms of those moments are often felt, if not more deeply, then at least differently because they provide openings to see God at work in our lives in ways we wouldn’t see otherwise.
We may be distracted by many things but God will show us the better part and it will not be taken away from us.
But there is something else at work also. For those of us who are Christians, we cannot overlook the importance of how our faith communities help us to recognize this better part—to see Jesus and be Jesus for each other and the world. As Paul says in his letter to the Colossians,
This Cathedral community has been abundantly blessed, and continues to be blessed, with many couples who are in loving, committed long term, Christ-filled relationships. Their presence is an amazing witness of what the better part looks like.
But, we have not been able to formally bless the relationships of our LGBT members—a situation which has caused great pain for many here and diminished the ability of all of us to find and proclaim the image of the invisible God, an image often found in the relationships of our LGBT members and friends because they know some things about fidelity and steadfastness in the face of hardship those of us who are straight cannot fully appreciate.
But a Martha and Mary moment is now upon us.
Approximately two weeks ago, Bishop Mathes sent a letter to all clergy in the Diocese saying he will permit the blessing of same gender relationships in churches in this Diocese, under certain conditions.
Among them, parishes wishing to do blessings must engage in a parish wide study of the issue such as the one found in the Holiness in Relationships Task Force Report and submit a letter or resolution to Bishop Mathes from the vestry, or in our case Chapter, indicating support for their clergy to do blessings. We have done both and Bishop Mathes has said we may proceed.
It is a Martha moment because there is still work, righteous work, to be done in order to accomplish full inclusion—not the least of which is working towards marriage equality. But in terms of doing blessings, at this time there are additional requirements for same-gender couples.
And it is a Mary moment as well because we are finally able to witness to the world, what the fullness of loving relationships, grounded in faith look like; as well as celebrate the love of the couples who come to have their relationships blessed. They will fill this place with a profound joy, a holy joy.
And it will happen. As Bishop Paul Marshall says so beautifully in his book, Same-Sex Unions, Stories and Rites:1
1Paul V. Marshall, Same-Sex Unions, Stories and Rites (New York: Church Publishing, 2004), p. 62.
Proper 11/year C
Genesis 18:1-10a
Colossians 1:15-28
Luke 10:38-42
Today‘s Gospel reading from Luke tends to make women feel uncomfortable. Because there really aren’t that many stories about women in scripture, we tend to pay close attention to those that do, but this one cuts a little close to the bone. I think it is safe to say we would all prefer to sit at Jesus’ feet to be able to listen to what he has to say and simply take in the miracle of his presence.
And someone also has to make dinner. Let’s face it, one of the things you don’t hear in this story is any of Jesus’ disciples saying, “Martha, why don’t you go ahead and join Mary, we’ll take of things.”
The practice of hospitality was a particularly important one in the ancient Hebrew culture. We see this in our first reading, when the Lord, in the guise of three men, appears to Abraham. The first thing Abraham does is to arrange for their comfort by having Sarah prepare cakes, something she does without hesitation.
So for Mary to not assist Martha in providing for the comfort of their guest would not only be seen as inconsiderate but almost culturally taboo.
But when we look at Jesus as portrayed in the Gospels, we see breaking taboos was usually the least of his concerns. His words to Martha, are gentle but clear, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
People often see this story in terms of black and white: Mary is right, Martha is wrong. But to look at it so starkly, I think misses the point. It’s not what Martha is doing is wrong but there is something taking place at that point in time which is more important and her attention would be better spent there.
There is much to be said for righteous activity, whether it is based on cultural expectations such as hospitality, righting a wrong, advancing the Gospel in the world, or taking care of people we love. All of these things are not only good but necessary.
But activity, even righteous activity, without reflection or time set aside to enjoy and appreciate what has been accomplished, can become an idol in and of itself, causing those who are always busy to sometimes think less of or even resent others who do take time out for reflection, rest, or just plain quiet.
So, looking at the story of Martha and Mary in this light, it is not so much about activity or business vs. listening and taking in the word of God but rather about putting these things in proper perspective, in their proper place.
Which includes learning to appreciate what I would call Martha and Mary moments.
I have talked about my marriage before so I won’t reiterate all the fascinating details but the Reader’s Digest version is this: Skip and I were going to be married in June of 2000 before I was ordained. But when I realized my health insurance would end a couple of months prior to that date, we moved it up to December of 1999 so I wouldn’t have to pay a lot of money to cover those months.
So that fall with me in New York beginning my last year of seminary and Skip in San Diego recovering from his first, and somewhat unexpected, open heart surgery, we planned our wedding to take place at a friend’s house when I came back to San Diego for winter break.
On the day before my wedding, I bought my dress and shoes, and stopped at Costco to pick up drinks and food for the reception. Later in the afternoon, Skip and I met with John Chane, who was dean of the Cathedral at the time and was going to marry us, to talk about our service. And then in the evening we made dinner for our families.
It wasn’t until the next evening when I was at my friend’s house getting ready that it hit me I was getting married. Soon. Like in 30 minutes. I briefly considered passing out. However, as that didn’t seem like a good option I somehow managed to hold it together.
But when we assembled in the living room for the ceremony, and I looked at all the people there—people we loved and had been so helpful in making this day happen, I had, or I think more accurately was given, a profound Martha and Mary moment. I was old enough to know marriage can take work, but at the same time, savor what was happening right then. I felt such joy and gratitude in that moment, and ready to take on the next steps in our lives together—knowing some would be easier than others.
Martha and Mary moments are found in all marriages or lifelong committed relationships, but in those in which one or both of the persons in it are people of faith, the rhythms of those moments are often felt, if not more deeply, then at least differently because they provide openings to see God at work in our lives in ways we wouldn’t see otherwise.
We may be distracted by many things but God will show us the better part and it will not be taken away from us.
But there is something else at work also. For those of us who are Christians, we cannot overlook the importance of how our faith communities help us to recognize this better part—to see Jesus and be Jesus for each other and the world. As Paul says in his letter to the Colossians,
“Christ Jesus is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible . . . all things have been created through him and for him.”We are created to love God and to love each other. And it is often in our most intimate relationships—intimate in body, mind, and soul, we see the image of the invisible God and begin to understand the depth of God’s all encompassing passion and love for us.
This Cathedral community has been abundantly blessed, and continues to be blessed, with many couples who are in loving, committed long term, Christ-filled relationships. Their presence is an amazing witness of what the better part looks like.
But, we have not been able to formally bless the relationships of our LGBT members—a situation which has caused great pain for many here and diminished the ability of all of us to find and proclaim the image of the invisible God, an image often found in the relationships of our LGBT members and friends because they know some things about fidelity and steadfastness in the face of hardship those of us who are straight cannot fully appreciate.
But a Martha and Mary moment is now upon us.
Approximately two weeks ago, Bishop Mathes sent a letter to all clergy in the Diocese saying he will permit the blessing of same gender relationships in churches in this Diocese, under certain conditions.
Among them, parishes wishing to do blessings must engage in a parish wide study of the issue such as the one found in the Holiness in Relationships Task Force Report and submit a letter or resolution to Bishop Mathes from the vestry, or in our case Chapter, indicating support for their clergy to do blessings. We have done both and Bishop Mathes has said we may proceed.
It is a Martha moment because there is still work, righteous work, to be done in order to accomplish full inclusion—not the least of which is working towards marriage equality. But in terms of doing blessings, at this time there are additional requirements for same-gender couples.
And it is a Mary moment as well because we are finally able to witness to the world, what the fullness of loving relationships, grounded in faith look like; as well as celebrate the love of the couples who come to have their relationships blessed. They will fill this place with a profound joy, a holy joy.
And it will happen. As Bishop Paul Marshall says so beautifully in his book, Same-Sex Unions, Stories and Rites:1
[t]o bless a union is to ask God to make it an experience of the kind and intensity of Christ’s love, both for the couple and also for all who are touched by their life together. Thus blessing a union is not to wish it good fortune or merely to give thanks for it, although both certainly occur: it is to set it aside for a holy use, to perceive it to be grace-bearing, to expect God to use it.So today, mindful of the righteous work still to be done, let us not be distracted by many things but sit at the feet of Jesus and give thanks for the innumerable grace-bearing ways God will put to holy use all the unions blessed in this sacred space. We are witnesses to the new creation and this moment, this holy moment will never be taken away from us.
1Paul V. Marshall, Same-Sex Unions, Stories and Rites (New York: Church Publishing, 2004), p. 62.
Proper 11/year C
Genesis 18:1-10a
Colossians 1:15-28
Luke 10:38-42
Monday, July 19, 2010
Pride weekend


Saturday the marchers gathered at the Parade start site in the sweltering heat. There was a moment of panic when we realized we had become separated from the car carrying the Very Rev. Jim Carroll, but at the last minute the lost sheep was restored to the flock and led the way as we marched onto University Ave. There were over 120 purple t-shirts, colorful streamers and signs, the big "Our Love to You" banners, and the ever-popular baskets of chapstick to give away. We got tons of cheers along the way and were one of the biggest, if not THE biggest group marching. What a wonderful and affirming experience. Back at the Cathedral, our water volunteers gave the passers-by and their dogs cool drinks, and we all enjoyed a friendly barbeque. Same time next year?
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On Sunday, the Rev. Canons Barnabas Hunt SSP and Andrew Rank SSP were presented with an award by the Rev. Canon Albert Ogle on behalf of Integrity, for their tireless work for equality for all. Congratulations to our much loved Brothers for this most deserved recognition.

And for many of us, the most amazing point of the weekend was the Rev.Canon Allisyn Thomas announcing during her sermon that, with the approval of Bishop Mathes, the Cathedral would start the process to bless same sex couples. This is a huge and brave step that will mean much to many, and I think will enrich our community.
Thank you all, for a most happy, wonderful Pride!
-Susan Forsburg
Click on any picture for a closer view. And be sure to check out the Cathedral photo site on Flickr.
For more about this news, including interviews with Bishop Mathes, visit Episcopal Life Online and The Living Church. There are also many blogs that have picked up the news with joy. Please tell us in the comments what you think of this news!

Saturday, July 17, 2010
Same Sex Blessings in San Diego

For those of you who may wish to take advantage of this wonderful news, I would invite you to contact The Rev. Canon Allisyn Thomas. It was important to the Bishop (and to everyone involved in this process) that the requirements and procedures for blessings of same-gender couples would largely mirror those for straight couples (such as use the same pre-marital counseling course). You can reach Allisyn through the Cathedral office at 619-298-7261.
Finally, if you are so moved, I would invite you to send a letter or email to Bishop Mathes thanking him for his decision and courage. This old Navy town is second only to Orange County as a conservative voting block in most elections and needless to say, the Diocese of San Diego is not of one mind on this issue.
I for one commend him for taking this stand, and hope you would join me in saying thank you!
Bishop James Mathes
Diocese of San Diego
2728 6th Ave.
San Diego, CA 92103
bishopmathes@edsd.org
Robert Heylmun
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